Difficulty + The Lessons We Aren't Up For

Oh hello there again, Shit I don’t want to deal with

How’d you find me?

I’ve been hiding from you

Secretly.

I don’t have time for this

It’s early and there’s so much to do

I turn my head and feel a ping of realization

I have it all backwards here

Those things I have to do

Are not my lessons

They are the distraction

From the work

Right here, in the messy fears and tears of those plugged into me

Is the “to do”

The entire freaking list

Is screaming at me

They need me

I breathe and switch gears

How could I have nearly missed this chance again

The chance to show up

The opportunity to change the day

These are the moments I prepare so attentively for

Through mantras and silence and yoga

And they come and then I trip, with disappointment in my heart

But not this time

It wasn’t perfect

But I tried

Grateful for the opportunity

Maybe tomorrow I’ll be a little bit stronger

(written in 2017 by Marjorie Sarah)

Photo by Cathal Mac an Bheatha on Unsplash